Why did the
best Bollywood Music Directors Jodi break after the initial success?
Why did the
most admired Page 3 couple decide to go their own ways?
Why did the
very successful Industrialist brothers think separation was better than
surviving together?
Sounds dramatic!!
Human
relationship is a partnership where each one of us feel that we safer in the
zone we create between us. We bond well and trust each other partner as we can trust him or her.This
feeling is helpful in creating a beautiful and meaning relationship for long
term mutual benefits.
However when
one the partner criticize the other person this space gets threatened. By doing
so one partner is judging the other one and the judged partner feels the pangs
of guilt. The negative emotions surge and the partner tries to defend himself. In
such a situation attack is the best defense.The partner tries to repel.In this
conversation the threatened partner stops listening and feels the other partner
is breached his trust.This creates a chasm in the trust zone between the
partners and partnership moves towards breakage.
In our daily
life we are always judging everyone in our surrounding be it our office or our
family. In order to understand this important issue we need to understand that
everyday with everyone our conversation is always laced with some form of
judgement be it in the form criticism,advice,hidden advice,etc.All are the
forms of judging someone.As a result
we create untrustworthy relationship across.
Such an
important part of communication and we are completely unaware of the damage we
are doing to our relationship.Why do we
judge others?
We do so
because we don’t love ourselves and we try to compare our lives and our life
journey with others. This comparison is responsible for utterance of judgement
in our daily communication.One can say
how do we correct others if we don’t criticize or advise our loved ones or
office colleagues or team members.
First thing
first our assumption is that we are better than others is cause of all
problems.
Let us first accept that we are equal,creative, skillful and
resourceful.Once this rule is set then we are no one to judge anyone.
To create
a trusting relationship certain rules which need to followed is open mind,non
judgmental attitude,ethical behavior and honesty in relationship.We can only
share feedback which is nothing but an observation based on certain facts .
Feedback
which are non judgmental will make one think in a rational way than an
emotional way.There will be not guilt feeling and you are treated trustworthy
environment.This supports a meaningful and healthy relationship to flourish.
By the way is it really Feedback or Feedforward?
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