Monday, August 26, 2013

Are you sufficiently topped up to acknowledge other's contribution?

How do you feel when someone very respectful pats you on the shoulder and recognizes your contribution?

How does a student feel when his teacher recognize his genuine efforts?

We all like to be Acknowledged by our peers,superiors,friends and family.

But when it comes to reciprocating,do we have the large heart to do so?

It has been seen that normally people don’t acknowledge someones contributions.

What can be the reason for the same?

Acknowledgment is act of giving.Human being by nature does not like to give.That too in this competitive environment people hardly do so.

One reason being people think acknowledging someone’s effort means acknowledging that your are less capable.

Secondly you must be actually topped up for acknowledging someone else.

Are we miser in terms of acknowledging someone else’s efforts?

Ask yourself.

People will compliment someone for his good dress. But complimenting is done when you feel good about something.In acknowledgement “me” is out of the picture,it is about the other person,his efforts and his achievement.

Is acknowledgement only needed in corporate offices?
Even in our family people need acknowledgement.Since we are so near to them we hardly see and recognize their efforts.Our Mothers,fathers,wives,siblings and kids contributions should never go unnoticed as all our achievements are cipher without them.

When was the last time you have acknowledged the contributions made by some dear ones and not so dear ones ?

And you thought Structures are buildings and monuments!!

Here is a brilliant student who wants to clear an important examination of life which can propel him to stardom and alas is not able to do so in the first go.

Has his brilliance shadowed? Does he not have the free time to study?
Has he not got the materials to study? Or his will power has ebbed ?

Does he not have a good freedom from disturbance to study ? 

Or he does not have the necessary luxury in his home which is stopping him from enjoying his life and only forcing him study?

No amount of deliberations could elicit the real reason of his failure.

How can brilliant student with all luxury fails ?

The fact is that he could not clear his exams.

A thorough analysis reveals that he has everything to succeed.That means he has every structure to support his study.

However his being there alone in the home with the Idiot box and music system available for use(abuse) he whiles his time without anyone to watch .He wastes his crucial study time on entertainment and being alone he is free to do so.

The Structure of being alone was the most important which he has created for fall.

A simple act of moving to library to study during those crucial days would have supported him.

Discarding a bad structure like being alone and creating a good structure like going in a library to study could create an immense difference.

There are some many structures in our lives which have become routine part of ours and many like leeches are drawing blood and we are unaware.Identify them and replace them with good structure which supports our goals.

What will you call a biting shoe for an athlete ?

A bad Structure.

What will you call a 5 am friend who calls you  to gym?

A Good Structure.

Have you taken the Will Roger's Test?

Will Rogers a Hollywood actor once famously said “I never met a man I couldn’t like”.

He did not say “I never met a man I didn’t like”.

By using the word “couldn’t” what Roger pointed to a simple fact that reaching out to humanity of man is choice we can exercise.

Relationship is a ship which is held together by the glue of Trust.
Without Trust the relationship Rusts.

Most of the problems in this world whether they include between two nations or between two business partners or between husband and wife happens because of lack of trust.

Trust is the most abused word in the world. However when it comes genuinely understanding trust our efforts are not in right directions.

If this is such a known fact  and everyone is aware of the same ,why 
there is no efforts towards that?

The first step to create trust is commit ourselves to doing so.

Acknowledging the lack of trust can be pointer towards to create so.

Commitment is followed by creating a trusting space between partners which help all the emotionally to connect.This further leads to genuinely putting our heart out for everyone else to see and appreciate.

This can only happen when people come into the partnership with an open mind .

A non judgmental behavior is must and honesty is very useful when mistakes happen.

Ethics in relationship will help us to unearth our deepest lacunae’s
and biggest dreams .

In a trusting relationship we are supported throughout our journey and challenged to learn and develop our skill sets on our way to achievement of our life goals.

Can we take a stock of existing relationship on the basis of trusting relationship?

Can we proactively use the Will Roger test and trusting space creation for any new relationship we are creating?

Can you agree and say “I never met a man I couldn’t like”.

Listening between the lips require more than 2 Ears

Just tune in to 9 o’ clock prime time news of an Indian News channel.

The discussion on an important subject on national interest is marked by unruly political participants whose duty at that juncture is to outwit the other participants and shout him down.

In this scenario the casualty is the nation,when everyone is shouting nobody is listening.

One of the basic need of any individual is to understand and be understood.This require us to listen to them.

Everyone amongst us claims to be a good listener.However we can recollect only 50 % of what we have listened few minutes back.

Active listening is more of listening,it is listening what is not said!!

Tuning in to the speaker is best way to listen to him.One has to be present during the talk.Active listening requires to us understand the nuances and undercurrents of what the other person is saying .This can be done by tuning to the tone ,pitch and emotions of the talker.

If you want to develop active there is small exercise which needs us sit in a quite place and then count from 1 to 50 without your thoughts drifting you off.If you can achieve this then it means you are capable to active listening for 60 sec.Though it may look small ,in case of conversation it is decent period.

Listening is attached to the self worth of a person.

Think when you are not being listened how do you feel.Worthless,right?